The Mother Alchemy Group- 15th Dec we start

mariakefalogianni
Oct 14
10 min read

Parenting the Untamed Soul and Learning to Unschool Ourselves. The Moment Our Parenting Manuals Become Kindling.

a short version of my blog for tired mama eyes When Your Wild Child Burns Down the Parenting Books (And That's Your Liberation)

There comes a sharp and breathtaking moment when every parenting manual for neurodvergent kds turns to ash in your hands.

Youmay realise, as have: I'm meeting a universe that refuses to be tamed. It just appears in this moment as a child to be controlled.

For those of us mothering neurodivergent, AuDHD, or PDA souls, this is often a full-body challenge rather than gentle. Their fierce "no" is their soul refusing to betray itself for our comfort. Even as we think it´s defiance. They see through our adult pretence like tissue paper.

The truth that breaks us open: Our children aren't broken. WE are the ones conditioned to demand compliance. We pathologise their wild inner compass and to queeze ther universes into boxes.

But here's what some call “Alchemy”: Every meltdown, every school refusal is an invitation. An initiation for us mothers into what I call “Ancient Mother Spiral”. You can see this as a somewhat unplanned and chaotic journey from control to - yes ! - “cosmic surrender”. That´s how it feels to me.

The Descent demands we face it: The war, while it seems to be between us and our children, is actually within our own souls. The suffering comes from the friction between who we were told to be. And the other part: who our untamed essence is calling you to become.

So we practice the Lesson of Softness. We , as mothers, meet our OWN trauma with reverence instead of shame, and we stop martyring ourselves. We reclaim every wild part we learned to make small when we were small.

Our neurodivergent kids need a mother who hasn't forgotten her own fierce aliveness.

Can you let them be wild? Can you let YOURSELF be wild?

That's the only manual that matters now. 🌌

You belong here. You are alive. The chaos is not your enemy—it's your becoming.

Maria Kefalogianni

Our Mother Alchemy Group starting on 15th of December, is the space you may be longing for. It meets you exactly where you are, in the sharp, chaotic friction of the moment, with the deepest softness. We don't offer more manuals; we offer the Ancient Mother Spiral- a profound, non-linear container- to turn your struggle into your wisdom.

This is for you if you are ready to stop fighting the chaos and instead, learn the language of your own untamed, fully alive soul.

You'll learn to use the Lesson of Softness to meet the trauma of The Descent (Stage 3), transforming the fire of rage and guilt into fertile ash.
You'll reclaim your identity, moving away from ancestral burdens of "martyrdom" and embracing the full power of the Death Mother archetype.
You'll discover that true freedom lies not in control, but in the radical acceptance and Cosmic Surrender (Stage 5) to the moment as it IS.

The biggest war is within your own soul. Let's make peace with HER

If this calls you can find more details on the group commencing 15th December here

and if you feel called, you can receive your seat at the table here

fees are on a sliding scale, pay what you can afford

Longer version

( especially tender for Neurodivergent Mothers Raising Wild, Neurodivergent Kids).

There's a point in motherhood when every expert opinion, every book, and every well-meaning piece of advice turns to ash. You realize you’re not just raising a child; you’re parenting a universe. I don't know about you but this is how parenting my kids feel like.

For many of us, especially those raising neurodivergent, AuDHD, or PDA warrior souls, this moment of reckoning is crushing, relentless, and deeply humbling.

In my system it has always felt likt I'm being stirred in a dizzying swirl, longing for a deeper, wilder kind of freedom. This precise friction has actually become my fuel of awakening and inner transformation. It has not been easy. Should it ?

But i recall feeling this initial, pervasive sense of "something missing" during my second pregnancy. To be precise this is the fire and obsession for truth i had since a child. A compelling urge to discover truth- what ever that means- a fine attunement to death dying and grief. I was born an empath and grown up with parents for whom i took a lot of emotional responsibility, in very unconscious ways.

We all know this sense of "something is missing". In each cycle, it is the beginning and the first stirrings of our deep soul calling us.

Usually it is when we have an inner sense of wanting to try something we have not had before. It requires us to open us to a deeper dimension in ourselves. IT might feel like a butterly inner stirring, a distant echo in your mind and heart that says something like " there must be another way" or " i cant keep doing this" or " i long for inner freedom".

it’s Stage 1: The Calling of the Honeyed Heart on the Ancient Mother Spiral, the primal ache for belonging that calls you home. TRUST blindly these distant flutters.

When the issue like school refusal hit my home recently , it was and still is a total radical re-arrangement of my life. This arrived at a time of deep sense of belonging in my own self. Life seems to play us this way, keep breaking us open so we flesh more light through our cells for the world. Through my embodied journey , i felt so able to become the hand to hold me in this descent ( finances challenged, jobs hanging of a thread, unknown leap into a whole different wy of life) .Not only this but i felt intense erotic energy cradling me during this phase. my own life force holding me and seeing first hand how death =life. you can read more on my body of work here . which is now the map i m invited to share .

The Trickster’s Assumption: Your Child Is Not Broken

The trickster's assumption is this: Your child’s inner compass is broken. I was recently in a voluntary group for perinatal expert by experience, and it hit me so hard , how the health system in the uk treat us as if we are broken. Words like " help your recovery", or " progress of your mental health" . I felt an emetic urge rise, an older version of self caged in these parameters i have now broken out of. I of course offered with astute clarity the feedback needed to re word.

You are not broken, mama. We are conditioned to look for compliance. We are taught to manage behavior, enforce consequences, and make our kids "fit the box." We are told w are too much, too hysterical, too sensitive. when it is precisely this acute sensitivity that hides our deepest gifts.

Life shows me that every refusal, every fierce "no," every meltdown, every moment of collapse, is a deeply wired, neurodivergent nervous system trying to speak a language we, as conditioned adults, have forgotten. Our children in particular, are here to re-school us in the most rebellious form of unlearning. They are catalysts, showing us that their wiring runs deeper than compliance.

Their inner compass is not broken; it’s simply calibrated to a frequency most of us have been conditioned to ignore. And walking the spiritual path of motherhood has left me changed for good.

The Ancient Mother Spiral: Your Map for Motherhood Alchemy 🗺️

The journey from a linear, rule-based approach to the wild, soulful wisdom of Motherhood Alchemy is not a straight line, it’s a Spiral. and it is the most wondrous journey we can ever be gifted. Here i recall Rainer Maria Rilke poem

I live my life in widening circles

that reach across the world .

I may not ever complete the last one,

but i give myself to it.

I circle around God, that primordial tower.

I have been circling for thousands of years,

and I still don't know: am I a falcon,

a storm, or a great song?

English version by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy

What if we are ALL of the above? I am welling up as i type this, from the intensity of beauty this moment commands. im in love with circles and widening ones, in love with the Spirals of life. ALL of it. Spiral as a container, is a radical antidote to rigid, patriarchal systems of linearity, de-pathologizing the disruption and seeing every setback as a sacred opportunity for growth.

for so long we have used used control, in order to shield against the intense pressure and fear that comes with the territory. We try to control the environment, the behavior, and the schedule because the alternative- surrender to the chaos- feels terrifying. Yet, the friction, the suffering, and the exhaustion we feel comes not from our child, but from the harsh, self-judgmental way we meet our own struggle.

The core of this Alchemy is the realization that you cannot control a universe; you can only meet it with reverence and softness. The suffering we feel comes from the friction between the old parenting manual and the child's untamed soul. The Spiral guides us through the internal work required to bridge that gap.

what does life want to whisper to you through your difficulties? it is precisely where i want to meet you with the deepest softness .

The Descent: Transforming Control into Ash

Parenthood, especially of a wild spirit, is a constant invitation into the art of surrender and humility. Just when you think you have a handle on things, the next wave of intensity arrives, a lightning reminder to not fall back into the old ways.

This unyielding confrontation is Stage 3: Descent into the Dark Goddess. This is the most profound alchemical phase, the moment our parenting manuals turn to ash (kindling).

When you’re confronted by their unyielding defiance, you realize:

They see through adult pretense like tissue paper.
Their refusal isn't personal; it's cosmic. It’s their soul saying, "I will not betray myself for your comfort."

This is the abyss of not knowing. It’s an initiation we are afraid of, a "dying moment" where our old self is being shed. We are called to welcome the Death Mother- the Dark Goddess of transformation—who arrives with no recipes, only the demand for us to stand rooted in the new.

The Lesson of Softness: Resistance to this moment is what causes our suffering. We must bravely face and integrate all that has been exiled—turning trauma and internalized rage into fertile wisdom. And we need spaces that serve as these clean mirrors for us to remember our true nature. This is where self-compassion becomes your most rigorous tool: It allows you to meet the trauma of the Descent with the softness of the Honeyed Heart, ensuring the fire leaves behind fertile ash, not barren guilt.

Cosmic Surrender: The Bee’s Devotion

The deepest healing happens when we move beyond striving and enter Stage 5: Surrender. This is the shift from an ego-centric need for control to a soul-led existence, like the bee’s instinctive devotion to the hive.

The moment you try to enforce an old map, the internal friction sharpens. and this sharpness is here SO we take notice, and our deepest work is to simply Breathe and Be. There is no effort; we are enough, already. Surrender is about releasing the fixed agendas and finding profound relief in being held by a larger, benevolent process.

acepting the moment as IS.

Mothers facing unique challenges often feel profoundly alone. Social media showcases curated perfection, leading you to believe that everyone else has it figured out. There is Alchemy in our Common Humanity . In the recognition that suffering and imperfection are part of the shared human experience. Your struggle is not a sign of personal defect; it’s a sign that you are a human being having a difficult experience. Naming your pain and realizing others feel it too is what melts away the crippling feeling of isolation. It's the moment the mask of required perfection finally drops.

The Rebirth: Resurrecting Your Own Wild Power

If you learn anything in the trenches of raising an untamed spirit, it’s that the biggest war is not between you and your child; it’s fought within your own soul. I live this daily. I mean, my son is the wildest form of ME! :)

I know he is not asking me to be a perfect parent; he is calling me to become the fully alive adult i am meant to be. They need a mother who hasn't forgotten her own untamed essence. Moving away from notions scriptss and ancestral burdens of "martyrdom".

To truly hold their tender, wild heart, you must first reclaim your own suppressed life force.

Bring back every part of yourself you learned to quiet or make small.
See through the illusions of "should" and "supposed to."
Embrace your full power without apology.

When the world pushes traditional discipline, i keep reminding myself My child's soul speaks the language of felt safety and being seen. They need their internal wisdom honored, even when it looks like chaos. The ultimate act of alchemy is realizing i must give that same safety and honor to my own tired, untamed soul. This internal integration is the essence of Stage 6: Holy Union - the absolute safety and belonging that emerges from within.

I am not just raising a single human; I am raising a whole universe.

My calling is can I let Them Be Wild. Let Myself Be Wild. 🌌

Let him teach me how to keep remembering my own untamed brilliance. Let them help me decolonize your mind and body. Let go of the patriarchal straitjacket so our ribs can breathe again.

In this beautiful, sacred mess: You belong here. You are alive.

Our Mother Alchemy Group work is the space you may be longing for. It meets you exactly where you are, in the sharp, chaotic friction of the moment, with the deepest softness. We don't offer more manuals; we offer the Ancient Mother Spiral- a profound, non-linear container- to turn your struggle into your wisdom.

This is for you if you are ready to stop fighting the chaos and instead, learn the language of your own untamed, fully alive soul.

You'll learn to use the Lesson of Softness to meet the trauma of The Descent (Stage 3), transforming the fire of rage and guilt into fertile ash.
You'll reclaim your identity, moving away from ancestral burdens of "martyrdom" and embracing the full power of the Death Mother archetype.
You'll discover that true freedom lies not in control, but in the radical acceptance and Cosmic Surrender (Stage 5) to the moment as it IS.