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The fuid parent-

The fluid parent- raising children from a non-dual lens;

The role of spirituality as a portal to our inner freedom in Parenting.

Have you ever wondered, “what kind of a parent am I ?!” “ What kind of parent do I Yearn to be?”.

I have - many, many times. Before my birth to my children and along this journey to the deepest un-doing I have ever known ( and it is an ongoing journey to deeper stillness!) ITs a question that now serves as my daily prayer.

Isn’t it interesting how the natural instinct is to gravitate towards love. ? Nature makes no mistakes Isn’t it also curious that we unconsciously run to fit our selves into a box of your entertained polarisation: good/ bad parent, calm/ stressed parent , loving/not loving parent. .. we want to resist the box or get quiet comfy in it for a while , Until the box or the new technique we have learnt stops working or works with an expiring date -

so we enrol on the next parenting course …and the next... and then very successfully use all we have learnt as another beating stick upon ourselves, another one to fill us internally, quietly, silently with shame, for not meeting the standards of our new learning we have received. Bless our hearts,!

This blog is an invitation for a 360 degree turn within , starting from the hypothesis - and experienced reality- that ALL our actions and No actions - begin from a deeply unconditional place within ourselveves . A place of lovethat goes beyond the limited sense of identity - the hardwired mechanism in usall that often wants more out of a deep, deep,p visceral sense of emptiness.

Parenting from the universal heart space is a way to meet our children fresh-fresh, moment-to-moment. Consciously engaging in our parenting from this unconditional space is a really game changer. IT IS the end of the game. It is a complete turn of the focus from outside to within us.

A 360-degree turnaround. Non-duality in parenthood stipulates what is already known by all parents. There is no separation between ourselves and our children, and so for the world outside of us. IT is a local-less place-less place where all polarities implode. That old saying our children are an extension is also a pointer to this truth, revealing this non-separation . When we parent our children, it is like we often operate and relate from the invisible strings, the unconscious strings that are operating from the hungry ghosts within ourselves, which are hungry calls for even deeper love in our systems. This is often known as the “ collective pain body”, as Eckart Tolle has named it , and through our stories and histories, this has accumulated conditions/imprints/ beliefs/ ideas/habits / relational patterns, and traumatic experiences, all of which are seeking the LIGHT of our awareness. We are, in fact, both children and parents of this universal love….and so in this space, we could call ourselves Children of the Divine Mother .

I like that term, but you choose what resonates for you. Mother Nature, Spirit, God, consciousness… Mary , the auntie in your neighbourhood growing up who shown you unconditional love.. So what does it look like to parent from this place within ourselves? Let me begin by stretching a hand of compassion to all parents in ALL that you do. I SEE yo,u and I HEAR’s is a damn hard path - the deepest path if you ask me ,and you have chosen this path in this lifetime for a reason. - Being a deep path if we are open to unlearn and become undone. This is what its been for me, And when I think I am, undone, there is more arrogance /ego to burn,.

I fully trust you re in this space for the same reasons . Having an invitation to hold and cherish all the polarities and contradictory feelings that can emerge in the depths of our soul - is what makes parenthood a fantastic portal to self - realisation and awakening to our true nature . It is hard hard work very often, but it is also very possible and very very real to lead a parent life from your heart/ through your heart. For this you need to parent your inner self. How ? I hear you ask. Firstly , the willingness to unlearn is foundational. How much is there a burning in your heart to return to lov ? You might want to close your eyes and ponder for a minute or two: How do I imagine my parenting being ? What does my heart long for in my parenting ? Then allo and teach you, and , surrender to melt you in the studentship of your child . Allow them to guide you, teach you, let them be your True Guru. An active inquiry has been part of my forever-unfolding parenting journe . Awakening into the heart can only come forth Through the shadows that emerge during day-to-day life and which you convince yourself you have to run away from or manage somehow … The tyranny of “more” “better “ “perfect “parenting is an illusionary ghost you have believed in for years . Ponder for a minute : How often is it that our mindsautomaticallyrest in the old story of “ how things were done in my childhood” " andd we act out of fear in the moment? If we pay very close attention, the next time our child grabs that jar we asked them NOT to, we automatically transport to that old argument we had and filter the new moment from that lens. We become hostages of a haunting past and an illusionary future … all of which were once, moments of NOW. What if whatever is occurring is an invitation to open up to the Divine Parent ,within you, to Face and Meet ALL that might feel uncomfortable within? Especially in this New Age era,we often hear the question, “How can Ii meet my child more lovingly?”. We all know this place, it comes from the best intentions in our hearts to be more loving, “more” caring “ more unconditional, “ more “ parent response and attachment responsive . None-theless , this is yet another “more”, which in a split of a second CAN become yet another thorn in the rose . Are you tired of falling in the tyranny of “more?” Let that tiredness envelope you, to reveal the freshness in you. It is a very fine line between our love for more training and when our caring, totally unintentionally borders to feel like yet another way to control our children. I have seen this place in me, and it’;s raw, and real and ugly. And yet sent from Grace, as yet another portal, to unravel me to liberate me even deeper, further, . It has been, for me, another refined echo of our conditioned mind- let’s call this the parent hive mind. Or the parent new age mind The forgotten mind which is here to point us to our REmembering of who we truly are What if, the very “more” you seek, you already ARE? You ARE ALL that you need to know before doing anything or taking any action .

Can you allow yourself to rest in that knowing ? Anchor in your breath. In this unfolding of my inner landscape I invite you for a total turnaround. Here is a short pondering on beingness: :- How can I meet my child in this moment in a way that i learn something new about myself ?” -how can I engage with my child in this pure, unrepeated moment , from the place of unconditioned mind and heart - How much curiosity can my system allow to sit back and observee, “how will the next moment unfold” ? We are really allowing ourselves to cherish that this moment has never happened and will never repeat it again in the same way . EVER. Is there anything missing ? Notice how you feel in your body as you read this question. Is there any sense of limitation or condition that needs to be met here, any expectation in the moment ? What would happen if we brought all this unconscious to the light of awareness? To our consciousness ?

In actuality, the very moment we choose to deepen in presence for our children is by SIMPLY noticing , with love and compassion, all of the ways we deviating from being present. That’s IT Lastly I ll will finish this blog with Byron Katie ‘s quote “Reality is always kinder than the story we tell ourselves about it”. We welcome your questions on this blog which we will attempt to answer via a video … However , once you ask your question I d like to invite you to sit with it in silence , and allow your inner Heart to offer an answer , before we dIf o. You know the truth already .

Maria Kefalogianni January 2024

If you wish to explore more on the parenting journey and deepening in your spiritality/ presence, essence, join us on our Facebook page group community : One Heart Parenting

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